Monday, May 19, 2008

Day 135 - "...I'm the kind of guy that can't let anything go, but you wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and slit your throat..."

While I place a strong emphasis on a balance of interests and hobbies in my life - another one of the many reasons why I'm doing what I'm doing - there's a tendency for me to be 'all or nothing' when it comes to a lot of things. If I'm going to drink soda (something I know enough not to do very often) I'll drink regular soda - fuck the diet shit. If I start a book, and I get through at least one chapter, I'm pot-committed, I'm gonna finish it. And speaking of pot-committed, it doesn't take a whole lot for me to put everything I've got into a decent looking poker hand, odds and/or opponents be damned!

One of the most important all-or-nothing decisions I've made in my life was made about 4 years ago, when I started shaving my head every 5 days*. I started down the long, painful road known as male pattern baldness fairly early in life - during my senior year in college, when I noticed my barber didn't spend too much around the top of my head. After a trial run with Rogaine, I decided I could spent $30 a month and 5 minutes of my morning and evenings for the rest of my life to maybe hold onto whatever hair I had left, or I could just shave it all off and be done with it now, as opposed to 10 years down the road. I chose the latter.

I don't really have any regrets - given my current two options - shaved head, or balding head, my personal opinion is that shaved is better. Again, all or nothing - who wants to see someone else's follically-challenged scalp dying a slow painful death right before their eyes? And the bottom line is I never did much with my hair when I had it anyway. I was always super lazy about styling it in anyway. And ok, fine - there's the cancer patient thing. But you know what? I'm a healthy looking, positive and energetic cancer patient. I'm out and about. I'm singing along to the 'Get Up Kids' while I wait for the C train. That's fucking inspiring.

Now, if they were to cure* baldness tomorrow, and I could my get my hands on a permanent solution to my scalp troubles? Sure, I'd be down for it. But I'm sure that won't happen anytime soon, the pharmaceutical business being what it is. So the way I see it, I've gotta get used to my shiny top, and hope that I inspire others that may be in my position. That, or become a super villain of some kind.

If I did grow my hair back though, you know what the very very very last thing I'd ever do to my hair would be?

This. The fucking faux hawk*. I HATE IT. With a passion. (Side note: whatever's going on with that guy's earlobe - I hate that too) Such a half-assed hair style. Why not fully commit and just get a mohawk? Because the real deal's too hard to pull off? Because it's distracting? Because of the type of people associated with full-on mohawks? Well guess what, there's a certain type of person associated with the faux-hawk as well. That's right - they're called douchebags.

I'm too lazy to find out or care which celebrity managed to pull off this hair style and somehow make it look good. But everyone that I personally see attempting it looks like a barber played an awful prank on them, and they just haven't noticed. Seriously, just slick it all the way back and be done with it.

Everyone out there with hair - seriously, you have a gift. Don't waste it on crappy hair styles. And hey while I'm at it - tall guys? How about dating someone approximately your height? Leave some of the shorties for me!

-Matt

Yeah, but I'd still rather be playing: Something old school. This game basically was the fall semester of my freshman year of college:


*this number will get smaller as I grow balder, and more ashamed.
*a legitimate cure - I am not taking hair from my ass or anywhere else on my body!
*it's been brought to my attention that what I may be talking about is actually a "mini mohawk," and that the above pictured man is actually sporting a real, albeit awful looking real mohawk. But whatever. You get the idea. Anything similar to the above picture - since there appears to be a gray area - is where my anger is geared towards.

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