Friday, April 17, 2009

98 Days UP - "The girl is mine, mine, mine..."

I just had a funny thought I'd like to share. There's a game called "Exit" on the XBLA (and PSP, which I originally played it on) as well as it's very very similar sequel, aptly named "Exit 2" which I was just playing. The object/plot of the game is that you're basically placed in all kinds of illogical sitatuations in various scenarios where people need rescuing and it's your job to save them. You have to first get close enough to touch each survivor, and then you have to guide them through the level. There a fat people, skinny people, muscleheads, kids, and dogs, all who can move around differently. The trick lies in utilizing each their abilities to create a safe passage for everyone.

Anyways, if you somehow blow it at some point in the level and have any of your followers fall to their death, get electrocuted, drown, have something fall on them, etc., (and this happens a LOT because the A.I. in this game has been programmed to be just a notch below retarded) a mysterious man wearing a jetpack swoops in, says: "No Hard Feelings!" in a deep voiced, blatantly insulting manner, grabs their injured (or most likely dead) body, and flies away. You then essentially fail the level - unless for some reason the game decided on that level you didn't need to save everyone.

Now, it's never explicitly said anywhere, but I get the impression this guy's your "Rival Rescuer," waiting for the right moment to pounce on your hard work with his high tech capabilities, which I find hilarious. I also love that they took the time to program this literal insult to injury in the game - they could have saved some resources and just gone directly to the Game Over screen. But no - they wanted you to know that your character, Mr. Esc (brilliant, isn't it?) is obviously on the brink of becoming obselete. He's rescuing people the old fashioned way, armed with just his arms, legs, and wits. But you don't need any of that when you have AN F-ING JETPACK!!!

I'd love it if after a certain amount of failed attempts, the people you're attempting to save start refusing your help, and they just say: "Look, I'm just gonna save us both the trouble and call for the jetpack guy, ok?"

-Matt

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