Sunday, June 28, 2009

170 Days UP - "Time and time again we fall into the depths of who we are, but you can't keep running away from you're trying to find..."

Pardon me while I get a little 'blog-meta' and break the fourth wall here for a second - there are four tabs at the top of the posting page: "Posting," "Setting," "Layout," and "Monetize." Although I've barely pressed the second and third tab, I've actually never pressed the fourth tab at all. Not even just for a curious look. Why? Two reasons: 1) I never thought my blog was popular enough that it was worth putting ads on it, and 2) I have a really really stupid, negative association with that word.

But this doesn't tell me how to make money being a publishing-cards-audio-book-mentor!

Monetizing on something fun and/or creative instantly puts an irrational image in my head of corporate suits, greedy lawyers, and money-grubbing (soon to be) ex-wives all getting involved. I visualize lifelong friendships ending and people's entire value system changing the second money comes into play. And most importantly, I see the end product suffering. Because money is obviously the root of all evil, right?

It's funny to picture generating what will probably amount to $7.43 from Google Adwords on my blog doing any of those things (go on, do it - have a laugh!), but what's even funnier is where all this came from. These images of corruption, of money changing what was once something fun and great into something shitty and uh, sell-outty come from all the TV shows and movies* I watched growing up where a talented band/artist/comedian gets discovered and then, over the course of 25-50 minutes, goes from 'poor but happy' to 'rich, lonely, depressed coke-fiend' who forgot it was supposed to be about the music/art/fart jokes.

The obvious irony here is there were all big productions that were put together by a studio/corporation/rich investor and lots of people were paid to do it. And I would think they can't all be rich, lonely, depressed and addicted to coke, right? And heck, they already proved me wrong with how to attract women (I've mimicked the HELL out of everything Matthew McConaughey has ever done on film for years and yet I am still Kate Hudson-less*!), why would I believe anything else they've ever taught me?
Why aren't women treating me the same as you?!? We have the same first name and everything!

Of course, it's not just the cartoonish portrayal of money in the world of entertainment that keeps me from trying to make money. I'm sure it's also a combination of A) laziness - since being paid to do something means I have to work hard on it, probably maintain some kind of schedule, and a certain level of quality, and B) fear of not being good enough to actually get paid to do what I want. Because hey, as long as its free, no one can really complain, right?

The bottom line is - if I ever hope to get paid to do anything creative, I have to get over all of that. Everyone's dream is to get paid doing something they love, right? And if you're not selling a product, then you're selling yourself. Wait, why does that not sound right?

So...that tab up there...I should totally click on it, right? And hey, if I do, and I totally change and become a big corporate sell-out, with millions of dollars, hundreds of thousands of adoring fans, and super models hanging from either arm, you can totally trash me on this very blog. I would encourage you to explicitly state that you knew me "back when it was supposed to be about the video game blogging."

-$$Matt$$

Currently Playing: Just started the Prince of Persia remake, and I'm enjoying that so far. Also dabbling in Bionic Commando: Rearmed, though I just heard about a patch coming out to make some of the frustrating swinging I was doing before a bit easier. Finally, got a chance to try the new Punch-Out!! for the Wii at a friends, and thoroughly enjoyed it (with some not so-frustrating swinging, since I turned the Wiimote sideways! Ba-dum-tish). Gonna have to pick that up at some point - though it may have to be a rental since I got to the final circuit in under 2 hours.

*Not to mention the song "Sell Out" by Reel Big Fish. Well ok, now I've mentioned it.
*Or a reasonable fascimile thereof.

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