Monday, November 8, 2010

Post-A-Day: Fibbering Heights


So I'm on this dating site, OK Cupid - perhaps you've heard of it? - and I have a bit of a dilemma. I'm 5'4" (5 '3 1/2" if we're going FULL disclosure, and hey, we're all friends here on my public blog, right?), and the listing of my height in my profile provides me with an interesting moral quandary: Do I list my real height in my profile?

For a while now, I've very much been of the mindset that "the ladies that NEED a guy to be a certain amount tall aren't worthy of my time" and "if they met up with me they'd find out sooner or later anyway." Makes a decent amount of sense, right? Here's the problem though: apparently almost every single guy under 6' lies about his height.

Now, with this knowledge out there, it is apparently assumed I'm lying about my height. To take the high road and stand my moral ground means to come off on an implied lower road, sinking further into the ground than every other guy. In other words: 5'4" in the new 5'2"!

What's a short guy to do? Write "for realsies" after my actual height? Choose not to disclose it, thus seeming flat out ashamed? The only logical answer seems to be changing my height to 5'6" just to adjust for (forgive the pun) inflation. Worse case scenario, I can swallow any sense of pride and totally fake that height - though, like George Costanza in the backwards running episode of Seinfeld, I'll totally be stuck wearing whatever special shoes I buy in front of the girl for some time.

I've yet to actually take the plunge and do it (and if I do, I'll be sure to follow up with a post down the line discussing either how shallow women are, or else, how they're all just bitches anyway), but it's definitely the direction I'm leaning in right now.

In the meantime, I think I've found a temporary solution:


Although in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have chosen a picture where I'm already standing on my toes. And, if we're being extra nitpicky, posing in front of a giant snowy, video game landscape, with black angel wings.

-Matt

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