Friday, July 29, 2011

Role-Playing (Part 7)

I'm closing out the Role-Playing series with the final entry, which brings everything full circle. I hope you enjoyed reading this series - I think I've worked on this more than on any other written piece. There were a few other sections I cut over time, either because they didn't fit the overall arc, they weren't working, or they just didn't have a purpose other than to show another amusing side of my life. But this trimmed down version feels right. Who knows, I may go back to it and add/subtract more at some point.

My next big move is going to be some a live reading of something I've written. Not necessarily from Role-Playing, though there are a lot of good stories here to be told. I'm going to sign up for a storytelling class in September and then depending on how that experience goes, I may pursue it further. Naturally I'll keep everyone posted on that here.

For now, enjoy the seventh and final selection of Role-Playing:

(FYI: Newcomers and those of you who haven't been reading this in order, this part makes a lot more sense if you read part one first)

Role-playing

Matt Shafeek The HARDCORE GAMER (CON'T)
PAX EAST / Boston, MA / march 2011

Our adventure eventually leads us to the lair of an ice dragon. We fight valiantly against the ferocious beast, and a number of times things look quite grim for the group – a concentrated blast of ice breath brings Eldeth and several others within 7 hit points of their life! In the end though, our collective efforts bring the enormous creature down, and victory is ours.

The DM congratulates the table of champions on completing their mission, and tells us how much experience, gold and treasure we have gained for use in future adventures. The heroes rejoice, tend to their wounds and divvy up their earnings, while the players give each other high fives and snack with renewed vigor. We’re told to write everything down on our character sheets, which I do, naturally accounting for the unspoken but assumed 5,000 extra gold pieces, Potion of Invincibility and +7 Flaming Axe of Scorchification that Eldeth found with her darkness-enhanced Dwarvish vision.

The group seems ready to retire from the dragon’s den, but Eldeth the Uncouth has one final play to make. I speak to the table as I gesticulate each portion of her move:

"I climb onto the dragon's chest and tear out its heart using my Great Axe. I hold it front of the group and shout: 'does anyone know if eating a dragon's heart will bring any kind of enchantment or power?'"

The table is flustered, along with the Dungeon Master, who is unsure of how to answer this unusual question on the fly, though honestly, I couldn't possibly be the first dragon slayer to ever wonder this. Undeterred, I continue:

"It doesn't matter, I eat it anyway. Nom nom nom."

I raise my half-clenched fist to my mouth and pretend to eat the heart, gingerly licking my fingers once I’m done for the full effect. My commitment to my character is outmatched only by my desire for more attention.

Our magical adventure comes to an end with the glorious ritual of filling out a brief survey card to rate our experience, our DM, and to let the all-powerful Wizards (of the Coast, LLC) know what other products we might be interested in purchasing. I have way too much leveling up to do with my Human Male / 32 / Single / Administrative character to invest any more in their guides, compendiums, or ever-so-tempting figurines right now. But I’m sure I’ll be back soon enough.

As Eldeth turns her back on the band of warriors she’s gotten to know over the past hour, she knows she’ll likely never see any of them ever again. She is thankful for the time they’ve shared. More importantly, she is thankful that they’ve so kindly tolerated her loud, attention-seeking, and sometimes flat-out obnoxious behavior.

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